I thank God. I appreciate all those that have taken the time to experience with me: even for those who have shown me hate. You have helped me recognize the brightness of love… the latitude of life. I have stewed in restless anger and animosity towards myself. I hated all that I was doing and what I was – avoiding the mirror repeatedly. But right now I am mellowing.
My love knows no bounds at this moment but I know there will be a definition in due time. In the next hour, I could be down again. But it’s okay because the brief high of contentment is enough to cushion the depression. I am resting in life, strength, and love: death an accepted fate. To appreciate the spectral fragility of all that is vital, I have to embrace the inability of infinity. Death is something
May I attain eternal life? Death is something
It is morbid for most to consider the end but I am realizing it is the only way I will come to know true life. That’s why adrenaline junkies are so incredibly familiar with sleep’s cousin: they stay awake at its encroach. For the value of what we have is not something the human mind can decipher or understand until it is nearly gone.
I have gone through the few messages of commendation I have on my phone and cringed with love. These messages never go ignored. I live for them. I along with others maintain that validation is not the goal but I am human. Gratifying compounds my soul – a fistful of love. In its grip, I am warm again. You inspire me. You comfort me. I am prefaced with insecurity and you have made me strong and I love you for that. I will continue going and growing for myself because of you.