I feel like my inner fear is taking over all over again. It’s been dormant for a while but I feel it creeping up again. I’ve been doing so well, but being thrown into public life, in a formal setting has unnerved me. The exhaustion for life is returning. A creeper.

I’m uncomfortable with where I am and what I’m doing and so I do nothing. And after doing nothing I immediately regret my inactivity and wish I had delved in. I don’t know if it’s my fear of the event or just myself is responsible but I fear it’s the latter.

I’m hoping to beat this anxiety off with a stick so it doesn’t settle in the way it did before.

Back to counselling and talking about my problems.

Expressing myself and using my resources to relieve tension.

Keeping busy with to-do lists and goals to complete for the day.

Taking moments to breathe, acclimatise, eat, sleep and entertain myself.

Keep good health first.

I’ve come to learn that the trigger for this anxiety is often social media. Distressing content of men dying or bogus stories tend to affect me more potently than I expect.

I need to collect myself. Particularly since I am going to university. Can’t let this anxiety stifle me. One bad day does not have to equal one bad week. Do not make this a habit.

Do not dwell or you will drown.

Occupy yourself.



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